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[17 Nov 2020|05:53pm] |
Oooo...Something's not right
I can feel it inside
Something's not right
( ... )
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[25 Jul 2011|11:51am] |
[Warded to Justin]
I have something to show you when you get home. Well...and when I get home, too.
I love you. Just so you know.
[Warded to Dennis]
HI, DENNIS!
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[18 Jul 2011|11:58pm] |
I got the job. This should make me happier
I guess I'll be getting up early now.
[Warded to Justin]
I'm nervous. What if I get it wrong? I don't want to get it wrong.
[Warded Private]
I listened to Zach's song...a lot of times, and it sounded very sad. I didn't comment, though. I don't think he wants to hear from me. I would hide all my words if I thought it would help, but I don't want to shut him out. I just want to give him his space. I don't want to have to deal with the possibility that he'll never talk to me, but Mum said I might have to. If he truly doesn't wish to speak to me again, I will let him. I hope he doesn't want to do that, though.
My heart still hurts. I suppose it is slower to heal than I imagined. Mum said it wasn't selfish to feel hurt, too. She said I have to get over the hurt just the same. I still can't help but feel selfish for being upset about things. I love Justin very much, though. Very much. Sometimes he makes the hurt feel less there. It hasn't gone away yet, but Mum says it will. With time. I wish I knew how long time was. Maybe it won't be very long...but I doubt it will be very short. It is okay. It would be worse if I didn't feel the hurt, I think.
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[12 Jul 2011|04:15pm] |
[Warded to Justin]
You don't have to stay away any longer. Eustace says he doesn't like all the tears anymore. He says I should smile...maybe at least once a day until I can smile easier. I need to practice smiling again.
[Warded Private, Dennis can read]
I feel guilty hurting. I want to make it stop hurting, but I hurt my heart when I hurt his. I am not good enough for anyone. I am a bad person...and his dad is going to be cross with me. I hope he doesn't say anything bad.
None of this was easy. Mum says it will get better, but it will take time. I rang her the other night. I needed her voice. She said not to be scared, but I am. I am still very scared...and very sad. I hope it starts to be better soon. I don't like it being bad.
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[10 Jul 2011|09:41am] |
[Written after this]
[Warded to Justin]
I know. I think I've known for a bit, but I was too scared to trust my heart. I think my heart and I were both scared. I'm not very much less scared, but everyone has to do scary things sometimes. You did scary things...and then you came back to me. We can talk, right?
[Warded to Zach]
I thought you should know that I know now. Well, for a bit, I think. My heart and I were fairly scared. I told Dennis. He told me I should trust my heart cause it knew. We should talk, yeah? Instead of journaling about it...unless you want to journal about it. I don't
[Warded to Dennis]
Who do I tell first?
[Warded Private]
My heart's beating so fast and I'm so nervous. Oh, bugger. What if they never talk to me again? I just said something I shouldn't. Blast. I'm still scared. I'm still terrified. I want Mum.
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[08 Jul 2011|01:24am] |
The sun was too bright today...Or maybe it was because I was too sad
I feel very tired today. I don't think I'm going to leave my bed for a little bit.
[Warded to Dennis]
I miss Mum and Dad
What are you doing?
[Warded Private]
I tried to find something happy today, but I couldn't think of anything. I wouldn't be able to cast a Patronus at all right now. I don't think I will be able to make it do what I want for a while. I wish I could stop feeling tired and sad...and like the sun is too bright. I like the sun.
I should just get this all over with, shouldn't I? I've thought over what I wanted and how each person matches up. Never Never Land has never felt so far away. No one told me it would be so hard to grow up and stay happy. I'm sorry for anyone I've ever hurt. I never meant to.
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[03 Jul 2011|01:20am] |
I sent my application in to the Prophet...for Photography. I hope I get it!
[Warded to Justin]
I am writing to you from the bathtub!
Hello! How is New York?
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[01 Jul 2011|05:26pm] |
I have a lot of new pictures to develop. I think they are very lovely. I hope the Prophet hires me
[Warded to Zach]
Justin's going to New York with a friend. Do you want to stop by tomorrow? We could do something fun outside of that before. Or we could go to your place. I don't know. He'll be back on the 5th of July, I think.
[Warded to Justin]
I require hugs and things before you leave.
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[26 Jun 2011|10:27pm] |
[Warded to Justin and Dennis]
Zach's in trouble. I know he's not your favourite person, but I need to make sure he's okay...so I'm going to go find him and get him away from his father.
I don't want you to worry. I'll send you a Patronus if I need you if I can I'll be back.
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[26 Jun 2011|03:31am] |
[Warded to Justin]
I can't sleep. Are you awake?
[Warded to Theo]
Have you heard anything about Zach?
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[21 Jun 2011|11:25pm] |
ONLY THREE TWO MORE DAYS!
[Warded to Justin]
HI, JUSTIN! I almost fell over in the tub! I don't know what else to say...I just wanted to say...that I love you. I don't know what else.
[Warded to Zach]
When should I be over for birthday stuff?
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[17 Jun 2011|03:40pm] |
[Warded to friends, the Island, DA peeps (and anyone the Island deems good people...so you special Azzy peeps can see, too.)]
( ... )
[Warded to the Island]
Let's pick paint colours. For painting! Also...any ideas for painting can be submitted here!
[Warded to Justin]
I like walls...and I love you.
I also want No, I don't but I need to talk to you about something.
[Warded to Zach]
I love you.
[Warded Private]
I have my list of things I want now. I hope I don't have to choose before my birthday. That would really suck.
I know. I know. I'm not supposed to say the word 'suck'. I just want to talk to Mum.
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[14 Jun 2011|08:16pm] |
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Do you think elephants let people hug them? I want to hug an elephant. Even if it's only an elephant's leg or its trunk. Maybe I could give it some pudding...and it would let me.
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[13 Jun 2011|05:44pm] |
Turns out Peter Pan doesn't exist. It was just a fairystory. Kind of sad.
( [Warded to Justin] )
[Warded against Dennis, Rose, Justin, Zach, and anyone that would talk to them about it]
I need someone to talk to about something...It's not, I suppose, really serious...but I have to decide something...and I need someone to help me figure it out because I can't apparate home...and I do much better thinking when I talk things out.
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[11 Jun 2011|10:33pm] |
I am going to try to find Neverland. I don't want to grow up anymore. I want to be eleven again.
[Warded to Dennis]
I think somewhere along the way I got it all wrong. I am going to stay in my room for a while. I don't know if I want to leave. We should probably go see Mum and Dad. Maybe I should stay there, too. You can stay with Rose and Justin. They still want you
[Warded to Zach]
You didn't say anything. We should probably still talk. If you want to talk. It's okay if you don't. I just thought we should. I'm thinking about going home soon, though...so it should probably be soon.
[Warded to Justin Private]
I wish I weren't Colin...so that you would still want to talk to me like before.
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[10 Jun 2011|10:44pm] |
[Warded to Zach Private Zach]
( ... )
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[10 Jun 2011|01:34am] |
So what do we do now? I'm not sure I know how to live normally anymore. I wanted to let everyone know if there are any people who went with us to Hogwarts that are dead well, you miss right now, I have photo albums that everyone can look through. If you want copies of pictures, I will make them for you. Sometimes it's good to have them...even if it's only for later.
[Warded to Zach]
I think we're moving back in. Well, we have. Into the house...for now.
[Warded to Seamus]
I've collected Dean's things. You can come get them and Roger. She looks alright.
[Warded to Dennis, Justin, and Rose]
We need to get in touch with Kevin and Su's parents somehow. I have Kevin's parents' address...I sent his parents pictures and a letter. I don't know where Su's parents are, though. Anyone else know?
Added in later
( Private )
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[04 Jun 2011|02:43am] |
I haven't written in this thing openly for so long.
Err...Hi.
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[01 Jun 2011|08:45pm] |
[Warded to Zach]
Written pre-battle
It's time. I won't respond now. I'll write when it's over. Love you.
Added in after the battle's over. The writing's a little off cause he is in pain and it fucking hurts, okay?
I...can't really...ouch. It hurts. I puked. Dead. Dean, Kevin, Su. All dead. Why? Ouch. Don't worry. Not dead. Giving me potions. Probably going to be asleep. Moved to St. Mungo's. Don't know. Dennis hurt. Ouch.
Please come.
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[25 May 2011|02:08pm] |
[Warded to Dennis]
We should do something...just us. We haven't in a while. Also...do you want to meet Zach? Well, I guess it's more like re-meeting.
I thought it might be nice.
[Warded to Zach]
I asked Dennis if he wanted to re-meet you...so I guess I should ask you if you wanted to re-meet Dennis...
[Warded Private]
I want to see Mum and Dad. I want them to meet Zach, too. This sucks...and I'm sorry I said that...cause I know I shouldn't.
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